Speed on a bike cannot be created or destroyed

only transferred from one rider to another.

Pauls Dirty Enduro - 2010
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. A time where overused phrases and cliches were used, with ill efficiency, to segue into one mans 1st person account of what happened that fate full day.

The build up
Ok so here's the deal. I am pretty darn fit right now but I know that kid was much stronger than me last year. He also seems to be beating me on a fairly regular basis in the O-Cup scene. So where is my advantage? Well I am really hoping that I can win through some technical fault or fluke like last year. I like my chances.

Red eyed Sat a.m.
K seriously wtf 5:45am??? I was smarter this year to not wake up at 5 at least. No point in sitting around in the cold for 45 minutes. Might as well get some extra blanket time.
Actually pretty warm out considering the sun isn't even up yet. I am sooooo thankful for the weather. Luck strikes again for Paul's!

Arrival at the venue
Oh geez there are way too many people who are all like "gonna win another one eh Ben". I guess they don't realise or don't remember that I really shouldn't have won last year.
Why does this dude insist on taking 8 centillion photo's of me? Why must they document my inevitable failure??
Aw look they have some photo's of Paul Rush riding the Ganny. Wish I could have met him. I bet he would have had a lot of fun doing this awesome 100km course. Gets better every year.

It begins
So looks like a pretty good group this year. I see that my nemesis is here. Really he is a lot like me so technically if he wins than I am actually the real winner through some convoluted logic which seems to have come and went as quickly as my energy during the 80km's that follow.
Not even bothering with the headphones this year. I know it will be a battle and not a solo ride in the woods like previous years.
That Tall Tree's rider (who I later found out was named Matt) seems to be going out awfully hard for someone I have never heard of. He is gonna blow for sure. Seems to be running into a lot of stuff. Zac is going fast too on his singlespeed. He usually dies in the last 40km's though, he's not a threat.

45km's done
Well we all got through that feed zone pretty fast. Quite the scramble. Organised chaos but old hat for me since I have been using the 2 bottle method for 3 or 4 years now.
*The 2 bottle method is as follows:
-start with 2 full 750mL bottles, one on bike, one in jersey
-toss empty bottle at first feed zone (20km's in)
-finish 2nd bottle by second feed zone (45km's in and at the start/finish point again since it is a figure 8 course).
-grab 2 bottles placed by me at the start/finish and keep riding
-toss empty bottle at next feed zone (65km's)
-fill up bottle at 80km or 90km feed zone if needed.
Total stopping time for the entire race = 30 seconds

wow we are really starting to pick up the pace. I think Andrew is trying to drop me and Tall Trees Matt. I think he might be over extending himself a little.
Ok we're 70km's in. Andrew is towing me around like a sac of potatoes. Definitely not overextending himself. Tall Trees Matt is gone off the back. I am really going way too hard. I have felt out of my comfort zone since the big push began at the 50km mark. Oh well if I am going down it's gonna be in a blaze of glory.
Ok starting to feel a bonk coming on. Getting dizzy, stomach is angry at me. Better eat a bar, even if it is a little ahead of schedule.
Ahhh that feels way better. Where are we now? 75km's eh.
Ok the 2nd last feed zone. Andrew is stopping for a second. Maybe I'll test the legs a little. Ohh boy they are so very done. He caught back up I'm sure 5 seconds after stopping. Kid's got energy to spare.

*"OK that's it, I'm done"
"What? No you gotta keep going"
"No I can't. Have fun"
"See ya"

And just like that he was gone. I had lost. Why did I decide to shut her down juuust after a feed zone? I am sooo hungry. I'll pinball my way through the trees and try not to think too much about the delicious PBJ sandwiches waiting for me at the 90km mark.

The 90km final feed zone
Ohhh thank you jebuz. Nom nom nom; life giving PBJ, nectar of the gods. Ok I've zoned out long enough. Time to get back on the bike and finish this SOB. Oh look there goes squeaky drivetrain Tall Trees Matt. Guess it was I that blew up. Ohh the irony.
Perhaps it is a PBJ induced coma but there goes Mr. Zac Wheeler cranking by me on his singlespeed with 1km to go on the never ending 5 minute long climb. Well if you're not first you're last. It was worth it!
Hmn still 10 minutes faster than last year. What an amazing day of racing. I am actually really glad that there is such a fast field to make this extremely hard race even harder. Almost a personal best time for me. Next year should be amazing.

That's a typical Paul's Dirty Enduro experience in a nut shell. I'd have to say it was the funnest one that I can remember. All hail King Andrew and long live old man Dawson. Yes I am just a man now, my reign of terror is over.

-photo's when they come. Send me some if you have them!

Bean-o!